Friday, 8 February 2019

The Poor Elementz: Jaz

A new series dedicated to various 4 elementz survivalists polluting t'internet who make Dart Adams seem like one of the DGB guys. For doz who've slept, heeeeeeere's Jaz.


Who dat: emotionally unstable Kiwi bloke known for defending REAL HIP HOP as if it were his mother's honour and for spazzing the fuck out. Jaz is the DJ for a New Zealand age traveller Rap group who make Ugly Duckling sound like UGK.

Greatest quotes: "EAT A FUCKING FAT DICK YOU WACK BITCH ARLENE. HOW DARE YOU FUCKING DIS-RESPECT THE COUNTRY I AM FROM, IF WE EVER MET I WOULD LOVE TO SLIT YOUR THROAT AND WATCH THE LIFE DRAIN FROM YOUR BODY"

Key beefs: moderated the original Cocaine Blunts message board back in the mid noughties but went apeshit after Noz posted a Lil' Wayne song on the blog. TBF, Jaz is slightly more open-minded than the other troglodytes in this series (translation: he listens to Suga Free), which probably explains why he's beefed with both Wicked22 and A.C The P.D.

Notable opinionz: constantly complains about violent misogyny in Rap yet loves Big L and The Beatnuts.

Other eccentricities: regularly makes angry posts about the Kardashians on his Instagram; dyed his hair black when he visited China "out of respect" but left his beard grey.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

That quote is intense

Step One said...

Absolute nut job. I last encountered him a couple of years ago (almost to the day) in the comments section of my blog being weird about tracklist specifics.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

If you ever go to New Zealand then Jaz will be waiting for you at the airport with a cosh.

Pink C said...

This is my new favorite series lol. So we have a Jaz vs Wicked beef and a Jaz vs AC the PD beef, what would it take to get a Wicked22 vs AC The PD beef one day? I would love to see that.

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

I'm not entirely sure what the relationship dynamic between those 2 is like. They're both such raging egomaniac retards that a clash would seem likely if Wicked says he isn't feelin' a Jess The Facts song A.C produced.

D said...

aw man the gif.

The dolezaling his hair is easily one of the greatest things I've come across online

Kelvin Mack10zie said...

Just For Men? More like Jaz For Men amirite.

It was you who made that GIF, right?

D said...

Lol respect, something you wouldn't know a thing about. I've made like 5 gifs in my life n that's the good one

Smell Rell said...

The Evil Mule video is the worst thing i have ever seen.