Sunday, 20 December 2009

Martorial elegance # 38



The Homme-Jovi is a suburban chameleon which can spend years at a time blending into its surroundings via external tissue comprised of bootcut denim and Berghaus fleece, until the faintest quiver of blue collar guido cowboy rock rings out somewhere in the most affulent areas of New Jersey and it suddenly develops a Slippery When Wet leather exterior and a desire to transplant itself from its dwellings to Live On A Prarie where it...and that's quite enough shit puns based on Bon Jovi songs for today, thank you very much.

New Jersey is a handy cheaper place to stay when visiting NY and the setting for the joint third best HBO show ever, but it's a strange place musically as it's given us some of my least favourite artists of all time in Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen and Joe Budden, and some of my alltime favourites in Redman, Danzig, Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons, Poor Righteous Teachers, Rorschach, George Clinton and Lakim Shabazz. Here's 5 jams from NJ's finest :

Poor Righteous Teachers - Very First Time



Smoke 'um, star, like a Texas cigar! PRT's Rare And Unreleased disc turned out to be a disappointing collection of mostly inferior b side remixes, so thank fuck the few rare/unreleased proper songs on there were so good because I blindly shelled out £12 for it. I haven't the foggiest why this tune didn't appear on one of the later PRT albums since it's some classic conscious raggamuffin-rap which only pre-1995 KRS could do to a higher standard.

Rorschach - Pavlov's Dogs



Best opening song on a 90s hardcore release next to Vocal Test, and all you people who prefer Protestant to Remain Sedate, which Pavlov's Dogs here begins, are cuckoo.

Kool & The Gang - Let The Music Take Your Mind



Sad but true : My very first internet exploaration in the late 90s wasn't spent looking for porn or insulting foreigners in chatrooms, but inspecting the legendary pre-The-Breaks site which listed all the samples from Paul's Boutique as I was desperate to find out what the sample on the Lay It On Me section of B-Boy Bouillabaisse was. Thankfully, it wasn't some obscure 7" by Eddie Tex & The Chickenstrut Brothers which goes for $60000, but an easily findable Kool & The Gang tune which could be picked up for under £6. Result!

Redman - Gilla House Check



Redman's edition of MTV Cribs is probably his finest achievement this decade but he hasn't fallen off completely since he just about averages a one good song or guest verse per year ratio. This was his 2005 entry which actually gave me a glimmer of false hope for his Red Gone Wild shitfest until it finally emerged a couple of years later to complete indifference from even the most devoted Reggie acolytes. I really wish this one didn't have the Guy Ritchie extra doing the shit mockney impression on the intro, but better some fairly uninvasive ad-libbing than a verse by one of Redman's shit weed carrier Gilla House mates I 'spose.

2 comments:

brad said...

the intro to blaze of glory on pub jukeboxes has been known to turn richard hammond dudes into homme jovis in under 5 seconds

James said...

The Misfits and Tha Outsidaz.

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